Hi.

Bye.

RANDOMMMMMMMMM

YES I'VE JUST HANDED IN MY LAB REPORT TODAY :D
I was so relieved and at the same time, tired like heck -.- Consequences of procrastinating arghhhh! Seriously, I didnt really only start it at the last minute. I was just.. doing everything slowly  ....... Okay, it's considered my fault, nevertheless, i finished :P It's just that I only slept for 3 hours this morning ._. 
but BUT BUT
There are 2 more assignments on hand and 1 poster to hand in this Saturday /.\ Well... That feel after submitting one BIG REPORT, the other assignments are just like *pick nose* HAHAHAHAHA 
After all these, this sem is going to end really soon~ Words cannot really describe how much I love this semester, well, despite of some really weird people which I could never get rid of -.- ( they are here to make your life a little more interesting [making myself sound positive] ) ~ I met an AWESOMAZING [Is there such word? LOL] lecturer who made me fangirl over her damn much hahahah, ya it's a HER :P ; And also some really helpful and nice tutors, which I really appreciate a lot as I heard of some really LANC ones ._. and I consider myself very lucky to have met them, to bring my passion for psychology back again! :)

As what I have mentioned, I have only slept for 3 hours, and I'm so freaking sleepy that I can fall asleep immediately, right in front of my computer ! So I decide to stop here. This post isn't really completed as I haven't even gone into the main thing I wanted to talk about, but ya, I have to sleep NOW! Will talk about it soon, muah bye :*

It has been a long time..

It has really been a long time since the last time i blogged. So ya I'm back~ Sorry for the ignores for the year(s) ? The feel of blogging just came back to me all of the sudden these days and so i decided to type a little during this struggling-in-assignments-period. Ya, I'm in University now. First Year Second Sem, WOW! Even I, myself is impressed with the growth in me LOL. (Well, neither the height nor weight, but the AGE and MIND) So ya, I'm taking Psychology in HELP University, finally, as I wished for so many years. The course is fairly good, as I expected. And I met good friends, really awesome lecturers and nice tutors which I really appreciate. Except for the part of not being involved in activities like I did in secondary school, I guess I'm coping well. Somehow, I just miss the good old times when I had to stay at school from the sunrise until the sunset, doing all the stuffs and having fun with friends. I guess I still need some time to start getting active.

It's not really tough now but I can feel the stress in me caused by the assignments, errr or maybe it's the lecturer behind. Guess I did too well last year and that I cant really afford doing bad now. Have to try harder . I dont want to disappoint myself or my family . And I don't want to do badly like how people have expected.

There are actually a lot of thoughts running in my head but I have to not spill them all out or this will be one of those really emotional posts. Feel like going to some peaceful, natural place (maybe a resort on a hill or an isolated beach), not bringing any electronic devices and hide myself from the city for few days. Be it reading, sleeping, thinking or taking some nice photos. I need some time for myself, away from the life now.

Problem Forever

Every time i thought i've finally found one..
I'll get disappointed the next minute..
So i learnt to keep silent..
I learnt to stop telling people how much they mean to me..
At the meanwhile, stop telling myself how important they are to me..
Tried to be heartless..
So that i wont get hurt anymore if they're going to leave me again..
But then, it doesn't work..

I just cant stop myself from being nice to people~
Being naive,
being used by someone and i still think of the possibilities of her treating me as a good friend..
Until i realised and tried to avoid..
She talked about me at my back~

It's just too hard to withdraw my heart even though i know i'm being used..
Do you know how much i wanna fix that?
Can you please try to do something too?
Dont let my hypothesis be true.. :(

加油

我从来没有失去过挚爱
我不知道失去挚爱的感觉该是如何..
我一点也不了解..
但是看你这样，我真的很心酸
即使我和你不熟..
真心希望你能坚强！
她也会希望你过得好好的 : )
加油~
你还有一堆朋友支持你~
撑下去！！都会过去的.. 
让她安心地离开，
把最美丽的她
存放在你记忆深处，一个谁也无法代替的位置~
她爱你，你爱她，大家瞭了，这就够了。
你们共同的回忆，
你们的爱，
永远无法被抹杀~
为了她，振作起来，做给大家看！
你可以为了她，成为更好的人 
加油！

Problem which i can never get away from

I'm sorry but i really dont feel like saving our friendship anymore..
It isnt your fault to not find me first or share anything with me..
It was just me.. who was being 一厢情愿..
Maybe we're just not "good friends" like what i thought we were~
I thought even if we're separated.. really far..
We will still manage to keep our friendship as long as i can keep my passion to talk to you~

Friendship is like relationship..
It needs efforts from both side..
So what if i'm willing to make the first step or even the 100th step?
You're standing still at the same place..
Not even willing to make a move..

We're like..
I always find you first..
And you just accept it.. Not even asking anything..
Only stand there and wait for me to talk..
When i'm done talking, or even when i'm not done talking,
You get bored, you gotta go.
I'm really tired of it..
And then i realised, being tolerate with me, is not what i need..
I need one who really care of me, care of this friendship
And is willing to share with me..

I dont treat you as a dustbin,
only find u when i need..
Do you know how much i wanna find you EVERYDAY?
to tell you EVERYTHING that's happening around me,
and to ask you about EVERYTHING that's happening around you..
But i dont know if i'm bothering you..
I dont really care when you didnt show interest in what i'm telling..
I dont really care when you dont care about how's my life..
But you dont even bother to answer me in details of your life..
How am i supposed to continue with the conversation?
How am i supposed to do what i thought i could do?

Miracle that i thought would happen for at least once..
Had never happened..
At this moment when i'm typing this post..
I thought of your reaction everytime i find you..
Every reaction of yours can be predicted by me..
I even know the next min you're going to tell me you gotta off..
So what if i understand you??
You dont know me at all..

Friendship is like relationship..
It could hardly afford the distance..
3 of you..
Not even one is keeping contact with me..
What can i still expect for more?
I dont know if i'm being fair..
But i know this is definitely unfair for me :)

Conclusion : I'm being stupid.. And i can never get smart in this.. But i'm getting used to it:)

108 days......

距离SPM，还有108天~
我很紧张！我很怕！我很想读！
可是，你可以不要选我心情不好的时候去给我压力吗！？
我只是想放松一下，我自己会安排，你可以不要干涉吗！？
我很不爽！我心情不好！我压力很大！我很想哭！我也不懂为什么！
总之，你不要烦我，我自然会把事情做完！
可是你现在这样，弄到我完全没有mood去读了~

我比任何人还要怕，你怕什么，这个不是你的未来，是我的。
To myself： 拜托，明天恢复正常可以吗~ :(