Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Problem Forever

Every time i thought i've finally found one..
I'll get disappointed the next minute..
So i learnt to keep silent..
I learnt to stop telling people how much they mean to me..
At the meanwhile, stop telling myself how important they are to me..
Tried to be heartless..
So that i wont get hurt anymore if they're going to leave me again..
But then, it doesn't work..

I just cant stop myself from being nice to people~
Being naive,
being used by someone and i still think of the possibilities of her treating me as a good friend..
Until i realised and tried to avoid..
She talked about me at my back~

It's just too hard to withdraw my heart even though i know i'm being used..
Do you know how much i wanna fix that?
Can you please try to do something too?
Dont let my hypothesis be true.. :(

Monday, October 1, 2012


她也会希望你过得好好的 : )

Problem which i can never get away from

I'm sorry but i really dont feel like saving our friendship anymore..
It isnt your fault to not find me first or share anything with me..
It was just me.. who was being 一厢情愿..
Maybe we're just not "good friends" like what i thought we were~
I thought even if we're separated.. really far..
We will still manage to keep our friendship as long as i can keep my passion to talk to you~

Friendship is like relationship..
It needs efforts from both side..
So what if i'm willing to make the first step or even the 100th step?
You're standing still at the same place..
Not even willing to make a move..

We're like..
I always find you first..
And you just accept it.. Not even asking anything..
Only stand there and wait for me to talk..
When i'm done talking, or even when i'm not done talking,
You get bored, you gotta go.
I'm really tired of it..
And then i realised, being tolerate with me, is not what i need..
I need one who really care of me, care of this friendship
And is willing to share with me..

I dont treat you as a dustbin,
only find u when i need..
Do you know how much i wanna find you EVERYDAY?
to tell you EVERYTHING that's happening around me,
and to ask you about EVERYTHING that's happening around you..
But i dont know if i'm bothering you..
I dont really care when you didnt show interest in what i'm telling..
I dont really care when you dont care about how's my life..
But you dont even bother to answer me in details of your life..
How am i supposed to continue with the conversation?
How am i supposed to do what i thought i could do?

Miracle that i thought would happen for at least once..
Had never happened..
At this moment when i'm typing this post..
I thought of your reaction everytime i find you..
Every reaction of yours can be predicted by me..
I even know the next min you're going to tell me you gotta off..
So what if i understand you??
You dont know me at all..

Friendship is like relationship..
It could hardly afford the distance..
3 of you..
Not even one is keeping contact with me..
What can i still expect for more?
I dont know if i'm being fair..
But i know this is definitely unfair for me :)

Conclusion : I'm being stupid.. And i can never get smart in this.. But i'm getting used to it:)